Afraid of the dark.

A month ago exactly today (wow, I literally just looked it up) I had a session with the lovely Dr. Tara Cameron of Sound Point Wellness. She is amazing and you’d be blessed to see her. Anyhow, during my session with her we discussed many things. Like myself, she has an extensive arsenal (toybox she called it and now I will be using that too) of skills in supporting us humans in our healing. She asked beautiful questions and brought up great suggestions as well as reminding me...

 of what I already Know (but still needed to hear.) You see, I was there to have her support me with my nervous system. I’ve spent the better part of my life since 2008 working to recover the Self I thought I had lost. The parts of me I believed were fragmented and broken. And still, after all these years I am still human lol! And need support. Imagine that 😝 


During our discussion we reviewed my darkest days of depression from 2014. I shared with her one of my deepest fears about that happening again. I’ve told this story many times, I have processed the feelings around it and I know the buried untrue beliefs. Still it haunts me. She knew. Somehow she knew what questions to ask for me to have another perspective around this memory and why it felt like it was still holding me hostage. Thank goodness feelings are not facts right?! Yet… It was tangled and even though I could see what was True about me… I could not shake the fear of feeling that way again. Her first question took me a minute. Tara asked me another question and while answering that, there was an opening of understanding to her previous question which was this; “Do you feel like the options they gave you at that time were appropriate?” Initially I thought yes! Of course they did. I was losing my mind and suicidal so it would make sense that they would offer in-patient, out-patient or medication. But her second question about who I am today versus who I was then is what brought me to realize that I really did wish there were more options available to me at that time. Options I didn’t know existed or believed were an option for me. That involves caring people who don’t believe that I’m broken or flawed or needing to be fixed. To be surrounded by big loving hearts, compassionate healers and facilitators that would help guide me back to my Self. To remind me of my limitless power and divinity as a gift to the Universe of the Universe. How fucking different would that have been? And so I had this huge epiphany about how I am absolutely surrounded by that today. I was back then too, I just didn’t believe it so I couldn’t see it. The chances of me ever going “back” is impossible and even if I did go into some darker times, I have acquired an incredible amount of skills, wisdom, understanding, people, teams, communities, facilitators, magic makers, and beyond… but most importantly, I have the deepest connection to my Self, the Earth, God within & the True perspective of Love as my purpose. Nothing can ever take that Knowing away from me. I will still experience triggers. I will still get annoyed and upset. I may even still want to rip someone’s head off for no apparent reason but today I can Know in my heart the way back to my Center. My Peace. 

After talking she guided me onto the table. Again, an intuitive call on her part that answered my subconscious desire. She used some acupuncture, acupressure, words, energy and heart to support my nervous system & worldly wishes. I left feeling vibrant, refreshed and truly connected and supported.

I am no longer afraid of the dark. The decision to be done with that fear has been made. Story over. Fear market closed. What is glorious and beautiful about this is that I honor the dark. The gratitude for all I’ve learned and will continue to learn is powerful. It is ultimately what led me to where I am. Sharing my heart aches and recoveries with all of you. I know that we can feel stuck, hopeless, depressed, like we don’t want to live like this anymore and that we can find a way back to the light. This morning's meditation reminded me that even being the light, sometimes we don’t even recognize where it is coming from ;) 

Big big thank you to Dr. Tara Cameron, my huge community of beings both Earthly and not, Great Spirit and the Mother, my clients who entrust their sacred hearts with me and so many more. We are all valuable threads woven into the web of divine existence. May you remember your Inheritance & Live Joyfully Connected!

I also think it is worth mentioning that Tara and I have been connected since early 2015. Around the same time when all of the initial experience of deep depression had started. Which is synchronistic to consider but that her and I were very different people just five years ago when we met. It was sweet to reflect upon that and see the tremendous growth we have both worked so divinely for. 

To learn more about Dr. Tara Cameron CLICK HERE