When Gold digging becomes attractive...

First I have to say- hahahaha! Because no. It is not an option and yet there are times when I can see why people have chosen that route. (This reflection is post thought/ attraction.) To stay in a situation that they are not really at peace with for the sake of

financial security. Many people will say that money doesn't bring happiness and I believe that to be the ultimate truth. And then I want to ask those who say that thing... "Have you ever had to choose to put gas in your car or food on your table?" or "Have you ever had to choose between a bed to sleep in or money for the next potential need?" It isn't so easy to believe in when the money is not there.

These last few years have been a radical test for me. To sit with the uncomfortable feelings and triggers that lead to the beliefs of unworthiness, guilt & shame. That fence line between throwing in the towel and taking the nine to five or continuing to walk with integrity and passion toward the thing I know and love. We all have these moments and get to be present with the triggers that rise. It is in that space we get to choose to walk through the feelings OR turn to the familiar and comfortable. Or seemingly comfortable. 

​Last week on my Instagram I created a post that talked about a willingness to pay. That we will all pay something at some point for the decisions we make. It is not a negative expense or an energetic depletion but a natural exchange. We are often presented with 1 of 2 options.
1. We get to choose to follow our heart & live a life aligned with our deepest purpose.
2. We get to choose to follow the money & live a life aligned with the idea of stability.

But what if we could do what we loved while aligned with our deepest purpose & received an abundance of support & financial stability?! Why do (I) we live in a culture of scarcity and lack? Can (I) we shift our perception and believe that it is possible to have it all?! To believe that two people can enter the same situation and want different things and both have them sounds like a miracle... So then the question is; Do (I) you believe in miracles? 

Lots of questions, I know. My answer is simple; YES! I absolutely believe in miracles. Which is a great segue to tell you about the powerful experiences I have with practicing The Six Steps to Freedom from Choose Again Retreat Center in Costa Rica based on A Course In Miracles.

​It goes something like this...

My process with the feelings mentioned above:
1. I feel upset (anything less than joyous.)
2. It is my feeling. No one else's. No blame.
3. I feel panicked, anxious & angry.
4. Remember the 1st time I felt that way. (Go back to my earliest memory of this feeling or sensation.)
5. My memory at age 9- I was witness to abusive behavior toward my brother & wasn't able to help. My judgment of myself was- I am worthless and I am trapped.
6. Now I can forgive myself for ever believing those things and remember the truth. My worth is intrinsic & divine and I am forever free. The truth is as Spirit, our essence is unchanged and it would make sense to my little 9 year old self to make up a story to try and understand the things I was watching. And the truth is, it said nothing about ME! 

All of this is to say that, gold digging or not... nothing ever went wrong! When I allow my old beliefs to run the show then I will continue to find evidence to prove that I am unworthy and/or trapped. I will literally seek out situations to prove this to be true. My ego wants to be right. So here, this is my miracle. I get to change my perspective through some very simple steps. Written out, plain and simple. Just need to walk in and be willing. 

​So I opened myself to doing things I enjoy that will contribute to the growth of who I am. In ways that feel good & allow me to be of service. Today I spent my first day back in the work force, creating community one cup of coffee at a time ;) See you at The Den Coffee Shop! xo
​
Always Love,
​Deirdre Justine

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